As I sit to write you, I am taken back to our time together at Xinalani, still overcome by a feeling of amazement. How did such a large group, in a short period, grow a solid sense of connection, support and community? I want to bottle it, keep it and share it round for next retreat. You all were the best retreaters I could dream up – and I did a lot of dreaming for this retreat! Eric said it well: “Too bad we could not have had some incoming mugshots taken of us on the first day to contrast with our outgoing glowing portrait exit pics. Would love to see the album. We have the mental album for sure.”

The reason I do these Alumni Pages is that we have a place to come back to – to reconnect with our beautiful experiences and moving memories. I have not received photos from people yet, but have received a stunning poem by Roshni (her first I believe!) two gorgeous paintings by KK, and and a letter of healing by Jillian. These are shared below, along with a link to some photos I took of you all. It’s not too late to add your voice or piece – just email me!

On behalf of Neil Wadhawan, Talya Lutzker and myself, we are deeply grateful for your sincere participation in making our retreat such a memorable one! Thank you for trusting us with your bodies, opening your hearts, and sharing your real and authentic selves!

Love ~ Gayle

Paintings by KK:




A song Talya played in class that all of you loved:

The Ballad of Love & Hate, by The Avette Brothers

Poem by Roshni
Once we were Gods
Immortal, perfect and bored
We longed to play
We longed to feel deeply
So we created Earth
Filled with trees, rivers and mountains
Birds, animals and fish
And many such wondrous gifts
The game was ours to play
And to love and struggle through
When we came down to Earth
The spell was cast so deeply
Earth was too beautiful
The feelings were intoxicating
Love turned into a craving
and struggle became suffering
We forgot our Godliness
And became trapped in our desires
Once we were Gods
Now we are Human
We began to destroy our own Mother Earth
As we hurt our animals
We hurt ourselves
As we destroyed our lands
We destroyed our Connection
And then we sit and lament
What is the meaning of life?
Once we were Gods
And if we close our eyes
And seek deeply within ourselves
Beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing
We can perhaps find out way back
to the celestial light in the sky
And then we will waken
to the truth that’s always been right here
We are all Gods & Goddesses
walking this Earth
disguised in temporal human skin
Once we were Gods
but.. we never stopped
We simply forgot.
—Roshni Goel
Dec 24th, 2016


A sharing by Jillian:
We are still in the spell of our time with you at Xinalani. It was, as Eric wrote, a truly moving and memorable vacation. But it was, of course, much more than a vacation. As you can imagine, in a family that is for so long such a tight unit of four distinct individuals, it has been our great challenge to come together as three, while always leaving space for our beloved boy. We found something magical within our group at Xinalani. We discovered the ability to recombine as a family in the presence of this absence, but instead of moving inward and seeing only the empty seat at a table for four, we sat at the long table (of life?) where there was room for everyone, including those who were present in ways more implicit than explicit. The words “thank you” seem such small words for the gratitude we feel for you and the group, but they are all we have and they cannot be left unsaid.


Click here for a few group photos you can download from Dropbox


Open Up Your World!